jodee lewis

Buzzard's Bluff


"Buzzard’s Bluff"

If you drive for 80 miles southwest of Highway 44
To those Ozark woods where outside folks don’t stay
There’s a cliff called Buzzard’s Bluff where we would lie on high ground
And watch the birds below circle ‘round their prey
And we would pray
We would pray

There ain’t nobody gonna run in here and save me
Heaven knows I can’t save myself
I’ve got no more tears and I’ve got nothing left for taking
You know the dead don’t ever call for help

It was 18 miles to town, another mile to Congress Hill
We spent our childhood locked inside a double wide
No neighbor ever knocked and no one looked us in the eye
It’s no one’s business what goes on inside
Goes on inside
I used to pray to be a bird and fly away
Not one time or two, but every single day
Everyone may look the other way
But I know what happened
God knows what happened

"Though The Flood May Rise"

I will call upon the Lord. He is worthy to be praised
My rock, my salvation and my refuge
Though the flood may keep on risin’ and the sun refuse to shine
His faithfulness will never change

In my distress I cried, “How long? O Lord, how long?”
Then he bowed the heavens and came down
Swiftly on the wings of the wind, of the wind

For who is God but God? And who is a rock except the Lord?
And he is a shield for all who would take refuge
In his steadfast love, in his love

"It Ain’t Killed Me Yet"

You called me up this morning just to check on things
Said it’s killing you to know your leaving’s killing me
Thought you’d maybe stop off by the house later tonight
If that’s alright; Is that alright?

It’s hard to tell, but I’m still drawing breath
My broken heart’s still beating in my chest
Life don’t seem worth living since you left
But, baby, it ain’t killed me yet

You must think I’m trying not to lose my mind
That I lay around here thinking ‘bout you all the time
Even though that’s true, all I’m gonna say to you is
Not tonight, I’m alright

Don’t call me anymore or try to be my friend
I don’t need your help to get back on my feet again
Or maybe start to feel a little stronger every day
Not today, but someday

"Nothing Ever Really Changes"

We both quit our jobs so we could spend more time together
Swore off red meat and cigarettes so we could live forever
We sold our home and bought a little cottage by the lake, but
Nothing ever really changes anyway

Nothing ever really changes anyway
We get up every morning and it feels like yesterday
One of us should leave, or maybe both of us should stay
Nothing ever really changes anyway

Once upon a time we must have interested each other
But 20 years of pot roasts make the boredom hard to cover
I can’t tell if I’m depressed or if I’m only middle-aged, but
Nothing ever really changes anyway

"Cigarette Song"

You just sit there at the table with the paper
Cardinals won again, the market’s still the same
If you’ve noticed things have changed
Then look into my eyes
But you won’t take the time to try and make me stay

So I’m trading in my apron for these cigarettes
You’ll learn to live without me when I’m gone
People like to tell me how much I’ll regret it
But it feels good to feel nothing at all

My eyes are dull from looking up above me
And my arms are getting weak from holding on
I’ve been praying now for years for any proof that I’m alive
And I can’t stay here when my hope for change is gone

There are days when the loneliness is so heavy
That I can’t get out of bed
All I’m longing for is just a little

"We Shouldn’t Be Alone"

I have shut my eyes
To keep out the light
In the darkness
I don’t have to see you go
I know that
We shouldn’t be alone
We shouldn’t be alone

There’s nothing to hide
Except the way I feel inside
We all make our
choices in the end
I won’t pretend
We shouldn’t be alone
We shouldn’t be alone

Only time reveals
If a wound endures or heals
Maybe I’ve already let this go too far
A jagged scar
We shouldn’t be alone
We shouldn’t be alone

"Start Again Tomorrow"

Loving you has never brought me anything but shame
But trying to live without you is a hard thing to sustain
Now all my best intentions lie scattered on the floor
They’re tangled up with all our clothes just like they were before

So I’ll start again tomorrow
To get over you for good
I can beg, or steal or borrow
The strength to act the way I should
Tonight’s too late to do the right thing
Even if I could

Everyone will whisper the way they always do,
“She won’t quit until it kills her, she’s nothing but his fool”.
But they don’t know the way it feels to lie here in your arms
Just one more time, one more time
Before the night is gone
And then

If this was the first time I’d lost the will to fight,
Then I could go on hoping that the last time is tonight…


My father’s ashes lie
Hidden deep within Missouri woods
Beneath the green spire linden tree
Where the whippoorwill sings

But all my children know
Are the city sounds through their bedroom window
And they will never grieve
What you would have meant to them

Missouri, Missouri
Where the Ozark Mountains roll
When my wandering has ended
Won’t you Show Me my way home

All these years have come and gone
But time and miles cannot erase
How I feel you deep inside my bones
Where I was born and raised

"The Redeemed of the Lord"

The redeemed of the Lord
Shall return with singing
The redeemed of the Lord shall return
And all sorrow and sighing shall flee away
When the ransomed of the Lord shall return

Though the desert surrounds this weary land
And my longing soul cries out
Though the wilderness seems unending here
All God’s people will rise and shout

And the lame will walk; the blind will see
And the deaf will surely hear
So we say to those with anxious hearts
“Be courageous and do not fear!”

Strengthen feeble hands!
The Lord your God will come
And we will see the glory of our King

"A House That Was Never A Home"

When I wake up now my eyes are clear
Every day I remind myself you’re not here
And I tell myself that you’ll never hurt me again
Then I get out of bed and pretend

It’s hard to face the truth of my condition
It’s hard to know how deep this sorrow goes
And it’s hard to forget what happened
In a house that was never a home

On the outside I look like I’m doing just fine
On the inside I’m walking a razor thin line
All I want is somebody to know who I am
But no one would understand

All of my life I’ve been running away
Away from the things that you did
And it doesn’t take any courage to hate
But it’s hard
It’s hard, Hard to forgive

"Peace At Last"

Somehow I missed the fork in the road
But looking back now I see it
You went your way and you left me behind
All you took were the answers and reasons

A secret will make you sick
It infects what might be and poisons the past
Now you can’t say you’re sorry, and I can’t forgive you
But I pray you find peace at last

Someone who’s stronger and wiser than I am
Would have looked at the truth all along
Whether you never showed me, or I closed my eyes
Doesn’t matter if you’re gone